DAY THIRTY-EIGHT: River Deep...

Due to a preplanned trip which will cause me to leave the UK before the end of my 40 Day Challenge, it was time for my final London-based adLenture. I decided to go out with a bang, and find something which would take me right out of my comfort zone and really challenge me. Following an elaborate joke, which developed into a serious conversation, which in turn then became a bet I couldn't back out of, my challenge was decided. Day 38 would see me abandon my pride and sanity as I went for a swim in the River Thames.

Before you ask, the crazed protester at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race was not me - though he only went and stole my thunder, the scoundrel! Despite the controversy and publicity that his swim garnered, however, I maintain that mine was far more of a challenge. Let me explain why. Rather than diving into the suburban outskirts of the Thames like the Australian activist did, I chose to swim right in the dirty centre of London. My location of choice: right under London Bridge, in the most famous – and perhaps most polluted – part of the Thames. Uh oh...

A few years ago, a wise but perhaps untrustworthy London tour guide once told me that the Thames was the cleanest city river in Europe. It’s dank, dirty colour simply comes from the wild currents which make swimming a highly dangerous activity. Followers of an alternative school of thought obviously insist that the waters are full of crap and contamination and can easily cause Weil’s disease (I won’t go into details on that one). Either way, this swim could prove highly perilous, but was a risk I was willing to take.

Ready...

Therefore, during my lunch break on Day 38, I descended down to the water. Having sneakily put on my sexy Speedos while at work, all I had to do was strip down and jump in. Easier said than done. Both the biting winds and curious onlookers suddenly made me hesitate; was I sure I wanted to go through with this?! Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately), my colleague Joel had come for the spectacle and wouldn’t let me return to work without getting wet first. And so, without further consideration, I quickly stripped and was ready to get into the water. Needless to say, a crowd had now gathered. The pressure was on.

...Steady...

I hastily ran down the steps into the water, thankfully shielded from the cold wind by London Bridge itself. This slight comfort didn’t last long, as the river itself was absolutely freezing. With a mixture of expletives and general cries of anguish, I entered the water: one foot at a time, nice and slowly. As all best laid plans of mice and men eventually go to pot, so my idea of a gradual descent into the Thames quickly got ruined. Remember the strong current I mentioned earlier? This caused actual waves to crash over the steps I was on, meaning that before I knew it I was drenched by huge splashes of ice-cold water. My expletives and general cries of anguish grew louder and louder. The crowds of city workers were loving it.

...Swim!!

And finally I was in. Adrenaline was basically flooding my bloodstream. WHAT a rush! Of course my breathlessness could have been down to my freezing limbs, but I like to think it was equally due to the pure excitement of the situation. I splashed around for a minute or two, before suddenly the currents dragged off both my flip-flops (I was definitely not going in there barefoot). I struggled to get my shoes back – first one, then the other – and finally decided that enough was enough.

I scarpered back onto dry land, where Joel was patiently waiting with a towel and warm clothes which I hungrily took. The crowds of onlookers still seemed entirely perplexed, and one particularly shocked young lady even cried out “are you bloody crazy?!” to which I casually reply “yes, yes I am”. In retrospect, perhaps I am slightly mad for voluntarily swimming in the Thames (in fact, this whole adLenture has made me frequently doubt my sanity). Regardless of this, my nautical challenge was absolutely hilarious and will provide a good story to tell for a long, long time.

Day 38: Take the plunge in the Thames. CHECK!

Peace & Love, 

Rich xx

EDIT: I have since found out that swimming in the Thames in Central London may actually be illegal. If that’s the case, ignore all of the above. It never happened. That’s my cue to leave the country...