To fully comprehend the importance of what you’re about to read, you must know the following: I love my teeth. Despite my devotion to tea and preference for red wine over white, I try damn hard to take care of my teeth and will always, always opt for an open-mouthed grin over a lippy smile (or what I like to call “a lazy attempt at happiness”). Therefore, when the idea of my 40 Day Challenge was born, there was one new experience which was immediately on my list. Yes, on Day 28, I went to get my teeth whitened. My adLenture has now become an adDenture. Sorry, it had to be done.
My pursuit for a toothpaste-advert-esque smile took me to a small boutique hidden in Camden. For the non-Londoners, allow me to explain the irony here. Camden is famous for its somewhat “quirky” residents – such as the lady who rides the 29 bus eating cigarette butts. These individuals aren’t exactly known for their top standards in hygiene and you’re probably more likely to find a Camden local with missing teeth, rather than perfectly white ones. I was therefore somewhat dubious as to the dental treatment I would be receiving in London’s infamous Punk district. (Disclaimer: I love Camden and all its griminess, hence why I’ve lived in the area for four years. Please, nobody shoot me...)
However, the Miami White Salon is exactly as you’d expect a professional dentist’s to be. It had all the usual suspects: the reclining chairs, the framed qualifications on the wall (yes, I did check), the classical music playing in the background to calm one’s nerves. Miami White is also home to perhaps the friendliest, bubbliest dentist you will ever meet. Cassandra welcomed me with a cheery smile and we merrily chatted about the good weather and our matching sunglasses. As we exchanged hugs and air kisses at the end of my appointment, I felt like I’d made a new friend. I recommend you go to Miami White, for the good company of its staff at least!
Anyway, back to the teeth whitening itself. After signing a scary disclaimer and having the chance to ask any final questions (“Will it hurt?!”), we began. One question I hadn’t asked but in hindsight perhaps should have was the obvious “what’s going to happen here?” I genuinely didn’t know if the whitening would be done by gel, plates or paint stripper. Perhaps I should have done a bit more research.
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| Hannibal Lecter in his early days... |
After Cassandra fitted me with a frightfully unattractive cheek retractor which prevented asking any further questions (and made me feel very self-conscious) she started applying a gel to my teeth. “Ohh, so that’s what this entails!”, I thought to myself. Well, not quite. Once the gel was applied, the friendly dentist placed some UV-protective glasses on my face and pulled a contraption down over my mouth. Yes, it was a laser. This was all rather unexpected. Once she had switched the laser on, Cassandra then left the room. I was all alone, lying under a laser, not knowing how long this would go on for and not really able to move. With the classical music reaching its crescendo, this whole thing felt like a scene from Final Destination. I prepared myself for the worst...
Ok, so perhaps I was over-reacting slightly. Evidently, I survived this experience, and also survived the second set of 15 minute laser treatment. And the results? My pearly whites really are a bit pearlier and a bit whiter. Thankfully my smile doesn’t resemble Ross’ in that episode of Friends, and the difference is subtle enough for nobody to suspect the unnatural cause of the improvement. Well, except that I’ve now published it on the internet. Let’s just keep this between us?
Day 29: Get the perfect smile. ALMOST THERE!
Peace & Love,
Rich xx
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