DAY TWELVE: Dr No, Dr No, Calling Dr No

A long-kept secret has shamefully come to light following Day Ten’s bar-based challenge.  Although sipping my Martini was a faithful homage to all-things-James-Bond, I have since been tormented by insufferable guilt.  The truth is: I have never seen a Bond film.  I’m sorry for deceiving you all.  I will rectify this, and then let’s forgive, forget, and move swiftly on.

On Day 13, I joined two film-loving friends to undertake my cinematic challenge.  After confessing to them that my recent blog entry was built entirely upon a sham (moving swiftly on not going too well…), me confidantes quickly began making arrangements for my Bond Baptism.  I gave them precise specifications: I want Connery and I want Classic. “Dr No?” my faithful friend suggested. “Dr YES!” I replied.

It must be hard being so AWESOME

The ice cream had been served, the duvets plumped and the lights dimmed.  It was time. ‘Dr No’, the first ever Bond film and therefore an apt choice for my initiation to 007, is a typical murder mystery.  It features an impeccably dressed Sean Connery as he travels from London to Jamaica to solve a villainous murder case.  Along the way, he seduces at least three female co-stars, has about 12,000 costume changes, and kills off innumerable bad guys, before finally defeating the film’s eponymous villain: Dr No.  All this without breaking a sweat or ruining his perfectly-coiffed hairdo (I have since found out that Connery wore a toupee in every Bond film he made. He is mortal, after all)

Bond did not disappoint.  It had it all: the epic theme tune, the famous cliché lines (he really does have a License to Kill), the sea-soaked Bond girl (after asking of every female to enter shot “is this one the Bond girl?”, I think my previously well-wishing friends began to regret extending an invite).  The film oozed cool, and looked fab.  There were obviously elements which gave away the film’s age, an inevitable result of the never-ending developments in cinema, but to be honest, ‘Dr No’ looked pretty good for a 50-year-old picture.

I haven't seen a villain wear so much eye
make-up since Moulin Rouge...

My only slight dissatisfaction would be that Dr No himself was less terrifying villain, more slightly pervy uncle.  And his metal hands were just weird.  What’s more, I barely understood any of the “scientific” mumbo-jumbo behind his evil plot, and was just bemused by a lot of the long words.  However, I get the feeling that in a James Bond film, the plot is probably not paramount.  Who cares about storylines and objectives when everything else is just so cool?!

Day 12: finally watch a Bond film. DONE!